1)  My grandmother started walking five miles a day
    when she was 60.  She's 97 now & we don't know where
    the hell she is.

2)  The only reason I would take up jogging is so that
    I could hear heavy breathing again.

3)  I joined a health club last year, spent about 400
    bucks.  Haven't lost a pound.
    Apparently you have to show up.

4)  I have to exercise in the morning before my brain
    figures out what I'm doing.

5)  I don't exercise at all.  If God meant us to touch
    our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6)  I like long walks, especially when they are taken
    by people who annoy me.

7)  I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
    covers them.

8)  The advantage of exercising every day is that you
    die healthier.

9)  If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start
    with a small country.

10)  I don't jog.  It makes the ice jump right out of
      my glass.