S I G N   L A N G U A G E
{contributed by Denis Hewett}

From actual signs posted in various public establishments around the world.
Literal translation between languages can be very confusing!


 In a Tokyo Hotel: 

IS FORBITTEN
to steal hotel towels please. 
If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.


 
In another Japanese hotel room:

PLEASE TO BATHE 
INSIDE THE TUB.

 
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: 

DO NOT ENTER THE LIFT BACKWARDS, AND ONLY WHEN 
LIT UP.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, 
push button for wishing floor. 
If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
 In a Paris hotel elevator: 

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE 
FRONT DESK.

 
 
In a hotel in Athens: 

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

  

 In a Yugoslavian hotel: 

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.


 
 In a Japanese hotel: 

YOU ARE INVITED TO 
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF 
THE CHAMBERMAID. 
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from 
a Russian Orthodox monastery: 

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are 
buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: 

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the 
boots of ascension.
 On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: 

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

 
On the menu of a Polish hotel: 

Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: 

For your convenience, 
we recommend coureous, 
efficient self-service.

 
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: 

LADIES MAY HAVE 
A FIT UPSTAIRS.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: 

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE 
FOR BEST RESULTS.
ON THE BOX OF A TOY MADE IN HONG KONG:

Guranteed to work throughout it's useful life.
 

 
AD FOR DONKEY RIDES IN THAILAND: 

Would you like to ride 
on your own ass?

 
Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: 

Order your summers suit. 
Because is big rush, 
we will execute customers 
in strict rotation.

In an East African newspaper:

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel:

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:

STOP DRIVE SIDEWAYS


In a Swiss mountain inn:

SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE CREAM

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman
even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and
send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR,
you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.



 
 
 
 

In the office of a Roman doctor: 

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN 
AND OTHER DISEASES.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: 

Fur coats made for ladies 
from their own skin.

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but
you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage,
then tootle him with vigor.



 
 
 

IN A ZURICH HOTEL:

Because of the impropriety 
of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
A SIGN POSTED IN GERMANY'S 
BLACK FOREST:

It is strictly forbidden in 
our Black Forest camping site 
that people of different sex, 
for instance, men and women, 
live together in one tent unless 
they are married with each other
for that purpose.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:


English well talking.
Here speeching American.

 
In an Acapulco hotel: 

The manager has personally passed all the water 
served here.
In a Rome laundry: 

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

 

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