LEWD LIMERICKS

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker
and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young plumber from Lee
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said,  "Stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming..."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"

-------------------------------------------------

A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, "Look you've cum
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag, it's a mockery."

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short'un,
on top of all that
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young girl called Molly,
who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back
and opened her crack,
And the bastard backed in with a lorry.

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young man from Harrow
who had one as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"Try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow."

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young girl from Hitchin,
who was scratching her crotch in the kitchen.
Her mother said "Rose,
It's crabs, I suppose."
She said "Bollocks, get on with your stitchin'."

-------------------------------------------------

There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had tits of different sizes.
One was quite small,
almost nothing at all,
But the other was big and won prizes.

use BACK button!