Quotes About Men & Women
contributed by Wani Muthiah

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles. --Roseanne Barr

If men were as great lovers as they think they are, we women wouldn't have
time to do our hair. --Marlene Dietrich

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
--Linda Ellerbee

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they
should live next door and just visit now and then. --Katherine Hepburn

Boys will be boys and so will a lot of middle-aged men. --Kin Hubbard

I don't want to sound sexist here, but I think men do make better mall
Santas: Men have bigger bellies, men are used to sitting for long periods of
time, and men have lots of experience making promises they have no intention
of keeping. --Jay Leno

There's a large amount of evidence saying that the man's point of view is
largely irrelevant. --Ralph Noble

A bachelor needs inspiration in order to seduce a woman, a married man only
needs an excuse. --Helen Rowland

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think
there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I
know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." --Jerry Seinfeld

It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men. --Mae West

Ass, n.: The masculine of "lass". --Unknown

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to
stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
which you'd like to have dinner with. --Unknown

As soon as a woman thinks sufficiently fast, one calls it intuition.
--Barbro Alving

We women talk too much, nevertheless we only say half of what we know.
--Nancy Astor

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's
life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if
there are men on base. --Dave Barry

I heard a man say that brigands demand your money or your life, whereas
women require both. --Samuel Butler

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you. --Mrs. Patrick Campbell

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then
they marry him. --Cher

Women want men, career, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort,
independence, freedom, respect, love and cheap stockings that don't run.
--Phyllis Diller

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. --Robert A. Heinlein

Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women. --Katherine Hepburn

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her
think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
--Lyndon B. Johnson

You meet a lot of smart guys with stupid wives, but you almost never meet a
smart woman with a stupid husband. --Erica Jong

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
--H.L. Mencken

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. --Lana Turner

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only
know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that
differentiate me from a doormat. --Rebecca West, 1913

A woman never forgets her age once she decides what it is. --Unknown

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can
take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the
root, and still be afraid of a spider. --Unknown