Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
    A:  Men usually miss all three.

    Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
    Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

    Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
    A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.

   HIM: "Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?"
   HER: "Because you're never home when it happens."

    Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
    A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.

    Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?

    A: They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play
         with them the most.

    The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you done?"

    Three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"

    Q:  What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    A:  45 lbs.

   Q:  What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
   A:  45 minutes 

   Q:  What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
   A:  Sexual harassment

    Q:  What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
    A:  $3.99 a minute

    Q:  What is the definition of "making love"?
    A:  Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.

   One sperm says to the other, "How far is it to the ovaries?"  The other
    one says, "Relax. We just passed the tonsils."

    Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
    It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

    Q:  How can you tell if your wife is dead?
    A:  The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

    Q:  How can you tell if your husband is dead?
    A:  The sex is the same, but you get the remote.

    Q:  What's the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
    A:  It only took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.

    Q:  What is another term for lesbian?
    A:  Vagitarian

    Q:  If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
    A:  The swallow

    Q:  What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
    A:  Humpme Dumpme 

    Q:  What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch stem?
    A:  A fungi to be with.