REALLY
NASTY
FEMINIST JOKES (forwarded
by Belle)
Q: What do a clitoris,
an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss
all three.
Man: "I'd really like to
get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's
already one asshole in there."
Q: What do men and tile
floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well,
you can walk on them for years.
HIM: "Why can't I tell when you
have an orgasm?"
HER: "Because you're never home
when it happens."
Q: Why is it so hard for
women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
good-looking?
A: Because all those men
already have boyfriends.
Q: What do electric trains
and women's breasts have in common?
A: They were originally
intended for children but it's the men who play
with them the most.
The three words most hated
by men during sex: "Are you done?"
Three words women hate to
hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
Q: What's the difference
between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference
between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
Q: What is it when a man
talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when
a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
Q: What is the definition
of "making love"?
A: Something a woman
does while a guy is screwing her.
One sperm says to the other,
"How far is it to the ovaries?" The other
one says, "Relax. We just
passed the tonsils."
Did you hear about the
new blonde paint?
It's not real bright, but
it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: How can you tell
if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the
same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell
if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the
same, but you get the remote.
Q: What's the difference
between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It only took 12
jerks to get O.J. off.
Q: What is another
term for lesbian?
A: Vagitarian
Q: If the dove is
the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow
Q: What's a blonde's
favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme
Q: What do you call
a mushroom with a 12 inch stem?
A: A fungi to be
with.
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